When I first returned to church after a long absence a few things jumped out at me. I was shocked that some things had not changed at all. I witnessed a great deal of change within my field of computer technology but I didn’t see the same degree of change in the church. Other things were new to me; one was Christians making fun of themselves. A friend referred me to Jon Acuff’s blog Stuff Christians Like and I saw comedian Tim Hawkins lampooning Christians with a ballad about the well-known Christian business Chic-Fil-A. With just the right mixture of joy and bitterness, here’s my list of Christian snippets, what are yours?

Churchianity (n): groups of Christians who meet to no different outcome with or without the Holy Spirit

Justifixation: tendency to insert the word “just” to affect intimacy in prayer, sometimes a substitute for “um” or “uh”

Bible “versus” (n): Bible verses yanked from their original context to serve selfish ambition

Sistern (n): a female Christian who speaks harshly

Histian (n) [hissss chun]: a male Christian who speaks harshly

Prayernertia (n): tendency to pray in the same way as one hears others pray

Grinister (v): attempting to serve others with a game show host grin instead of actually engaging them

Dementia (n) : the tendency as one ages to purchase collector items from the Franklin Mint on the shopping channel

Speaking in Tongs (v) : liberal use of potluck dinners in outreach, popularized by Baptists, still widely practiced but some believe that it passed away at the end of the apostolic period

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